Thinking under pressure

So much has happened since Kim passed...

Little Candy moved into Kim's old stall right next to Madeira and although Madeira would never admit it, she really, actually likes her there. We regularly turn the four of them, Madeira, Steal, Candy and baby Leila out together and they all get along just fine.

Madeira and I have had a couple of break throughs in our journey this past few months. Despite the fact that she kicked me, she is really trying to communicate and do the right thing. Sometimes she tries so hard, that she anticipates what I want from her and does it before I even have the chance to ask. (She is reading my mind.) Sometimes her anticipations are incorrect and she does something I wasn't going to ask her to do, but I don't make her feel wrong about it, but just take what ever she offers. At least she is trying. 

She is really starting to become more confident and left brain through our training, though she is innately a right brain extrovert. It is fun and interesting to observe all these different horsenalities emerging out of her. She still shows off her "wild" side every now and then, but I'm starting to detect more exuberance in that behavior instead of fear. She is also really trying to think her way through stressful situations instead of "flying off the handle" when she gets into a sticky spot. Here's the proof, that what ever I am doing is really working for her advantage, and as a result she is getting smarter and calmer, and able to think under pressure.

One day Virpi had gone to the ranch and taken Steal out into the arena. Then before she had gotten to Madeira she had stopped to chat with Debbi. In a mean while Madeira had grown impatient and started pawing in her paddock, wanting to get out. Virpi had just hollered at her to stop pawing and in her amazement she had soon stopped as Virpi and Debbi chatted on for about another 15 minutes. What Virpi didn't realize  was, that the water hose, which was tied around the paddock fence had become loose and somehow Madeira had pawed her foot through the loop and gotten stuck!!! Just imagine a few years ago she would certainly have panicked and struggled to get free, most likely braking her leg in the process. But now she just stood there not moving a muscle until Virpi finally realized what had happened and went to free her. What a smart horse she has become!

This is why we play with our horses in all sorts of "funny" ways, letting ropes and hoses and Christmas tree ribbons tangle into their feet, to set them up for success when things really go wrong.

Christmas time came and went and of course we shared that special time with our loved ones, the horses. Here are some of our precious Christmas moments.

Close call

On a Friday just before Christmas Madeira and I were having a fabulous play session on liberty. We were doing a rather fast paced "stick to me," trotting through the weave pattern, canter-trot-walk transitions, squeezing over cavaletties etc. Everything was working out beautifully and we were having so much fun, until I decided to try it staying on Madeira's right side. I should have known better! 

I know she is still very sensitive and shy about her right side, especially on zone four (the kick zone.) She gets nervous when she feels pressure in zone four on her right side and has a tendency to react with a lashing out kick. I should have prepared for success by desensitizing her right side while having a lead rope on her at first, but I got caught up in the moment of a thrill and went overboard.

So as soon as I started to "canter"  and Madeira followed my lead she got confused about me being on her right and got impulsive. She past me just slightly, which left me in zone four. I realized it immediately and knew what would happen so I turned around to run away from her, to take off the pressure and to get out of the kick zone. I was too slow. Her right hind hoof hit me just above the hip on my lower back. The force of the impact jerked my body backwards in an unnatural way and I was flown to the ground like a rag doll. Madeira flipped around immediately as she realized I was laying on the ground, and trotted back over to see what was wrong. I don't know if she really meant to kick me, I'd like to think it was only a right brain reaction, but she looked genuinely concerned. 

For the first few moments as I lay there in pain and someone asked if I could feel my toes, a horrible thought of a worst case scenario flashed through my mind. I had no idea where exactly she had hit me, for the pain seared through my entire back worsening at every breath. I wondered whether I would ever walk again.  It's amazing how your brain works in a stressful situations. For a minute I didn't even want to try to get up in fear, that I wouldn't be able to.

The x-rays showed no broken bones and it seemed my internal organs were in tact, so I was given a shot of morphine for the pain and send home with four bottles of different medications for pain, nausea and something to protect my overly sensitive stomach lining from the hard core pain pills. I was knocked out until the next morning, when I awoke with a perfect, purple hoof print just above my hip. That's when I knew exactly where she had hit me.

I was very, very lucky, that Madeira managed to kick me pretty much on the fattest part of my body. Thank goodness for all that "padding" I have been growing and nourishing lately with my Christmas style eating habits. Had she kicked me just two inches to the right she would have gotten my spine. I'm sure the outcome of that would have been different.

I have also never been happier about my decision to pull off Madeira's shoes and keep her barefoot, for that impact with steel shoes would no doubt have gone straight through my "padding" and done much more damage. 

Getting kicked by a horse is a scary thing. It certainly scared my friends and family who's immediate response to the news were, that I needed to quit horses. Well, of course that's not going to happen, but as they say, that things happen for reason, I have been trying to search for that reason. Perhaps it was to inflict fear in me. Enough to slow down and check in with myself every once in a while, that I am within the lines of safety and setting things up for success. I realize, that the horses I interact with are not the "ordinary school horses" which are selected by their calm disposition, but most often high spirited, emotionally scattered, complicated creatures. They need understanding of their individual, unique characteristics, innate nature and problematic pasts, as well as skill to handle and deal with all of it. Sometimes much more than I have.

Fear is a good thing. It is your body's way of alerting you of a possible danger. We should all listen to it. However, I have been extremely confident and comfortable with most horses I handle for quite some years. I have been especially confident in trusting Madeira, who in turn is becoming more confident and trusting towards me, which is a great thing, except for the fact, that as she is becoming more and more left brain she is also starting to challenge my leadership more.

Well, all I can conclude is, that I had luck on my side and, that I must learn all I can from this. Next time she kicks, I'll be quicker to get out of the way.